Posted tagged ‘singing in the shower’

Don’t sing for Venezuela

November 13, 2009

I confess that I have a habit (unknown to most) of singing in the shower. Well come on, these are hard times, and a little song cheers me up and doesn’t do any harm.

Or does it? Apparently President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela has, in a televised cabinet meeting, told the people not to sing while showering. And why? Here’s his explanation:

‘Some people sing in the shower, in the shower half an hour. No kidding, three minutes is more than enough. I’ve counted, three minutes, and I don’t stink.’

I’ll take his word on the not stinking bit, I totally believe him. But what’s this about three minutes? It seems that Venezuela now has a serious water problem, and the President is concerned that water will be wasted unless all the singing in the shower is halted forthwith. I’m not sure whether this new rule is going to be enforced, and if it is I won’t speculate on how.

But I will be writing to the President. I have looked through my music collection on iTunes and have now listed all those songs that are shorter than three minutes and which are therefore safe for showering Venezuelans. They range from ‘Song of the Century’ by Green Day, which weighs in at just 58 seconds (and which can therefore safely be sung three times) to ‘Oliver’s Army’ by Elvis Costello and the Attractions. which at exactly three minutes is just right and moreover is hugely singable. Alas, Amy Winehouse’s ‘Tears Dry on Their Own’ is one second too long, and therefore not acceptable in a Venezuelan shower; such a pity, given the lyrics.

I am genuinely pleased to be able to help Venezuela in this way.