Wild expletives, neat packaging

Here’s the scene. You’ve just realised that you forgot to bring your little travel earphones and you want to listen to some music on the plane. So you rush into the airport electronics store and buy what looks like a set that will work nicely with your iPhone. Ten yards from the shop you stop because you want to open the wrapping and throw away the packaging before you run to the gate for your plane. Damn, it’s one of those ‘clamshell‘ plastic wrappings. It is hard as rock and there is no way you can think of that might open the package. You take out your keys and use the house key as a sort of hacksaw to open the thing up. Absolutely no effect. You have no knife or scissors of course, because you’re not allowed to take these past security. But wait, there’s a coffee shop, they’ll have a knife. ‘A knife? Of course, sir.’ That’s a knife? It’s a bit of knife-shaped black plastic, and the moment it touches the packaging the knife breaks into three pieces. So how about seeing whether your index finger might be able to find just a slight gap in the side of the packaging, and if you get the finger in you can pull the wretched thing apart. Oh no, it’s amazingly sharp, it has cut your finger. Badly. There is blood streaming all over the place. Another traveller has rushed over to you to ask if you’re all right. ‘Thank you, yes, I’m fine’. But as you move your hand a little too fast some blood that has collected on the finger is launched into the air and lands on the kind passenger’s white shirt. “Excuse me, I’m so sorry. Must dash for that plane.’  A few minutes later at the gate you have just one more go. A cut to another finger. Damn this thing, I’m throwing it on the ground and jumping on it, that’ll open it. It does. And you are now able, safely, to pull out the crushed and broken earphones. It’s a triumph of endurance. The clamshell packaging didn’t win. Do you have time to run back and buy another set of earphones?

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6 Comments on “Wild expletives, neat packaging”

  1. Eugene Gath Says:

    Do I detect a modicum of hyperbole?

  2. Al Says:

    Easier just to get loaded in the bar beforehand?

  3. Trich Says:

    Awww That was awful. Hope your fingers heal quickly.

  4. Dan Says:

    I suspect any relaxation you got from the music was cancelled out by the stressful packaging incident- novels don’t have packaging? 😉

  5. Vincent Says:

    Ha, I’ve no sympathy at all ya iphone showoff. Why don’t you read the crap in the pocket like the rest of us.
    Really, the very idea that anything culinary might be associated with anything served in an airport. You’d think you’d never sat on a ‘plane in your life. 🙂
    Where the hell is the sarcastic smiley, and the wry one also.

  6. Ned Costello Says:

    In any event, the headphones bought would most likely have been usless. Ambient noise levels in a plane are so high as to render listening on anthing other than a pair of in ear phones or noise cancellers a pointless exercise.

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