In your dreams
Are you not experiencing the dreams you want? Well, help is at hand. or rather, it’s fitted around your head: for a mere $180 you can buy the ‘I Dream Head Massager’ which relaxes your head and allows you to have better dreams. Or of you just want a good night’s sleep, the ‘Nightweave Sleep Assistant’ might be just the thing for you; it ‘uses light to elicit deep relaxation’ (the light is blue, by the way’). Or if you’re gasping for breath, $300 will buy you the ‘Personal Oxygen Bar’ (with added aromatherapy).
These items are on a list of ‘ridiculous health devices’ which gets released from time to time by the website dvice. Some of them are pretty ridiculous, and they are presented in the same spirit as the lists that are occasionally published of far-out inventions that were patented but that, not at all amazingly, never saw the light of day; like the ‘flatulence deodorizer’ registered in 2000 that involves ‘a pad to be worn by a user for absorbing gas due to flatulence’; or the jet powered surfboard.
And yet, when I see these lists I don’t tend to laugh at the sheer idiocy of the ideas (as we are really being invited to do). Rather, I marvel at the inventiveness of humanity and at our capacity to keep thinking of new possibilities for advancement and new solutions to old problems. I’ll probably never buy the ‘I Dream’ or indeed the ‘flatulence deodorizer’, but somehow I’m glad there are people out there bothering to register and develop these ideas. We’re a little richer for them.
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