I’m telling you, they’re out to get us…!

One of the fun but crazy aspects of modern life is the conspiracy theory. If there’s a major contemporary event, there’ll be some paranoid conspiracy theory about it – whether it’s JFK’s assassination, the not-so-dead afterlife of Elvis, the significance of fluoride in water, that kind of thing. Someone I knew once in Cambridge – an otherwise brilliant man – always told friends in hushed tones that ‘the sprays’ were out to get him; nobody ever knew what he was talking about, but everyone found it better just to nod sympathetically.

But perhaps the most active (and frankly, craziest) peddlers of conspiracy theories are the more extreme rightwing groups in America; there’s nothing to beat them. From their absolute conviction that Barack Obama is a Muslim, to their belief that the government is spraying chemicals into the air to poison or subdue them, there’s nothing so weird or so stupid that they cannot believe it. This website provides some further examples.

Maybe we need to polish up our own talents in these matters. Given recent Irish history, surely there must be fertile ground here for something zany.

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9 Comments on “I’m telling you, they’re out to get us…!”


  1. I’m sure some members of Fianna Fail are convinced that Dev secured the independence of the entire 32 counties but that Collins gave 6 of them back in exchange for Lady Lavery’s phone number.

    Or how about Charlie Haughey was a French puppet, he wasn’t going over to France for shirts but to receive instructions from his spy masters.

  2. kevin denny Says:

    There is a lively conspiracy scene in Ireland: look no further than http://www.jimcorr.com
    One of the features of the Internet that is unremarked on is that while it provides massive access to information it also gives you a great opportunity to filter information, screening out what you don’t want to hear. Perfect for developing conspiracies and for linking up with like-minded people.
    The ability to ignore inconvenient facts is not the preserve of the crazies or the dim-witted. Its surprisingly common:
    http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2010/07/11/how_facts_backfire/?page=full

  3. iainmacl Says:

    Mitchell and Webb have been enjoying conspiracy theories in their recent TV series:

    Diana’s death http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoZ71sj3Kn0

    Moon landing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6MOnehCOUw&feature=related

  4. kevin denny Says:

    Some of this stuff features on the Rob Simone radio show, apparently he is one of the “foremost experts on the unexplained”, a nice oxymoron. Former guest include Dr Miceal Ledwith, previous President of NUI Maynooth and professor . Lets hope other former university presidents don’t go off the deep end too.

    Incidentally, many prominent building in Dublin are part of an Occult Grid which is part of the Ruling Elite’s agenda. Trinity College is part of this, naturally, as is the Central Bank (that explains a lot), the Department of the Taoiseach (likewise) and even those nice Unitarians in St Stephens Green. UCD alas is outside the loop on this one: bummer.

    • Jilly Says:

      Ah, but UCD has its own conspiracy theories. Like the fact that there are no large open spaces in order to prevent riots, and of course everyone’s favourite, the secret tunnel to the city centre.

      • kevin denny Says:

        I had never heard about the secret tunnel: clearly they don’t want us to know. However, the Freemasons tend to feature in most good conspiracy theories and their former girls school is now where the School of Architecture is, in Richview.
        And as for the flouride-denialists: case closed.

  5. Vincent Says:

    Fluoride in the water is one of the most pointless exercises that the Irish State engages itself in.
    You could spend the rest of your life wallowing in pure fluoride and it wouldn’t make a ha’p’orth of difference for if you haven’t had the stuff when in the womb. You might as well pick a rock up on Kippure and rub the stuff on that.

  6. Kevin O'Brien Says:

    One of the strangest developments for me is the “Gold standard / Fractional reserve banking / money as debt” theories that have become prevalent over the past few years.
    What is going on there?


  7. Here’s a book which tries to get at the truth:

    http://investmbsireland.wordpress.com/


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