Don’t sing for Venezuela

I confess that I have a habit (unknown to most) of singing in the shower. Well come on, these are hard times, and a little song cheers me up and doesn’t do any harm.

Or does it? Apparently President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela has, in a televised cabinet meeting, told the people not to sing while showering. And why? Here’s his explanation:

‘Some people sing in the shower, in the shower half an hour. No kidding, three minutes is more than enough. I’ve counted, three minutes, and I don’t stink.’

I’ll take his word on the not stinking bit, I totally believe him. But what’s this about three minutes? It seems that Venezuela now has a serious water problem, and the President is concerned that water will be wasted unless all the singing in the shower is halted forthwith. I’m not sure whether this new rule is going to be enforced, and if it is I won’t speculate on how.

But I will be writing to the President. I have looked through my music collection on iTunes and have now listed all those songs that are shorter than three minutes and which are therefore safe for showering Venezuelans. They range from ‘Song of the Century’ by Green Day, which weighs in at just 58 seconds (and which can therefore safely be sung three times) to ‘Oliver’s Army’ by Elvis Costello and the Attractions. which at exactly three minutes is just right and moreover is hugely singable. Alas, Amy Winehouse’s ‘Tears Dry on Their Own’ is one second too long, and therefore not acceptable in a Venezuelan shower; such a pity, given the lyrics.

I am genuinely pleased to be able to help Venezuela in this way.

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2 Comments on “Don’t sing for Venezuela”

  1. Vincent Says:

    Hmmm, entering the shower with a song list in ones head. Why on earth did he not go the obvious route with two people playing hide the soap and double the time to six.

  2. Iain Says:

    these are actually the same basic guidelines (quick showers ❤ mins) for water conservation recommended by most governments in countries prone to water shortages, including many in Europe..but of course it turns into a news item when its El Presidente…hmmm…still admittedly he does have an idiosyncratic way of getting the message across..

    anyway, I'm banned from singing in the shower…it disturbs the dog apparently….my daughter however feels the need to sing an entire album's worth each time, despite the queue building up outside ….

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