Triumph or disaster: the Newcastle rollercoaster

If you have any pity, then spare a thought for us poor fans of Newcastle United FC. This coming weekend marks the end of the season. But it wasn’t a season at all. It was a nightmare, a ritual humiliation masking as a competition, tragedy dressed as farce – you get the idea.

And now, whether the club survives in the Premier League depends on just one easy, impossible game. Aston Villa, who can gain nothing by winning this game and suffer nothing by losing it, pose this final challenge for Newcastle.

So why was this season so terrible? Because Newcastle has a rich owner who thought that having his way in imposing his own favourite management structure was more important than winning games. So he lost the club’s brilliant manager Kevin Keegan, and in the chaos that followed managed to have four managers in the one season. The only consolation is that he ended up with the only other plausible one, club hero Alan Shearer.

So if you care nothing about soccer, here’s your opportunity to poke one in the eye to all those interminably boring Manchester United fans and declare that, this weekend, you are supporting Newcastle. It’s the romantic thing to do!

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11 Comments on “Triumph or disaster: the Newcastle rollercoaster”

  1. parisbynumbers Says:

    I think Newcastle have tried too long to go with club heroes as Managers. I cant think of a top premier league team that is managed by a former player from that club. Liam

  2. Ciaran Says:

    Genuinely sorry Ferdinand. I won’t be supporting the toon this weekend. Due respect to their long-suffering fans but I believe the club is a model of poor management and reckless spending and as such is deserving of its fate.

  3. Martin Says:

    Hi Ferdinand,

    I am an Everton supported and so I hope you beat Villa because if Everton lose at Fulham (have not won there since 1950) and Villa win then they go fifth and not Everton. So the bad news for you is that they do have something to play for.

    Its only a game – what idiot said that.



  4. Big Bad John Says:

    Hello Ferdinand
    I am a Villa supporter. Our season started very well and we had hopes of getting into the top four. Then Martin O’Neill signed Emile Heskey and it all went pear-shaped! Our home form in particular has been woeful.
    So there is a fair chance that the Toon will get a win (we only drew against Middlesbro last weekend).
    Still, I hope we win and come fifth.

  5. Ian Bell Says:

    …..and I wouldnt look for any favours from Sunderland;)..after last nights performance against portsmouth

    It will be a big weekend for the north east trio!!! all hangs on Man U v Hull

  6. Ian Bell Says:

    p.s……I read you second club is Hull….who will you be shouting for;)

    • Ian, you do hit on some raw nerves. Yes, one of the tragedies is that almost certainly one or the other of these two will have to go down. Ideal would be West Brom, Middlesborough and Sunderland of course….

  7. rayyan Says:

    irish gonna support sunderland though..
    how romantic having love with man utd as the boys in red devil can make you smile and always give late and unexpected suprise 😉

  8. poppy tupper Says:

    Muddied oafs. Who cares?

  9. TheChrisD Says:

    While I’d love to experience the joys and sorrow of Newcastle tomorrow, my many Manchester United jerseys from over the years say otherwise…

    That and I’d kinda like Villa to win, with plenty of Gareth Barry goals so I can win my league in the fantasy game…

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